The other day I was listening to a podcast from my church
about David being chosen as King. David,
the youngest (like 12 years old!), the smallest, the least likely to be chosen
(he wasn’t even invited to the ceremony) was chosen to rule over an entire nation. He wasn’t wise. He hadn’t lived a long life
full of learning opportunities. He was just a boy tending sheep. That didn’t stop God from making His choice
though. To God it didn’t matter what he
had done or not done. God knew David and
loved David’s heart. God knew that David
was just what Israel needed to be redeemed yet again. When God chose David, His grace shone through
in a huge way. He had not given up on
His rebellious people, but He had a plan of redemption for them and for us.
As this sermon went on, Ross touched on so many good
points. He mentioned 1 Corinthians
1:26-31 where it talks about God identifying and using people in different ways
than the world’s standards. We read in 1
Samuel 16:7b where it says, “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on
the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” These verses all spell out something that the
Bible reiterates time and time again. As
followers of Christ, we most likely will not accepted by the world’s standards
(this is not our home after all – we are foreigners). We will have special jobs and responsibilities
that the Lord will give us that we will most likely not be equipped to do. Then God will show His power through us as we
serve Him in the most unlikely ways. All
of this I know. I’ve heard and read time
and time again. But it doesn’t make it
any easier.
I desire acceptance.
I desire to be desired. I desire
to be seen. I desire to be heard. I desire independence. I desire strength (emotional and
physical). I desire
self-sufficiency. Every one of those
desires contradicts what Jesus teaches about humility, dependence, and working
for the Lord not for men. Ross pointed
out that most of the time our ideal self gets in the way whenever we feel
unappreciated or small or frustrated. It
is so funny he mentioned that because just a few days before I had written a
list of what I wanted to be (my ideal self) and who I really was. My ideal self was strong, healthy,
self-sufficient, confident, etc. It was
stuff I wanted to work on and get better at.
Then I listened to this podcast.
My broken, messed up self is exactly what God desires to
use. He desires me just as I am. And He desires me to be all in, all the time,
weaknesses and all. Through this act of
humility and dependence, the strength, power, grace, and love of God will shine
through all the more. So just maybe my
thinking has been wrong all these years.
Instead of trying to become my “Ideal” self, I will gladly rejoice in
the broken mound I currently am. Instead
of beating myself up when I “screw up”, I will look to the Lord and see how He
will work it all for His good and His Kingdom.
I will let God mold me and shape into whoever HE wants me to be for His
purpose in my life, instead of me trying to change myself into who I want me to
be. Hopefully then, I will start serving
faithfully and consistently in whatever task God has for me (no matter how menial).
