the waiting game

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

Sometimes things change.  Sometimes you have the best plan with the best intention and everything comes unraveled.  Sometimes you believe that you're doing exactly what God wants you to do when God wants you to do it, and He reminds you that your ways are not His ways and your thoughts are not your thoughts.  This is the cold hard truth I'm currently facing.  Some of you have heard, others not, but my plan to leave for Mozambique in October has completely come undone.  Due to circumstances beyond my control, my departure date has been delayed for possibly up to 6 months.  As of right now, I actually have no idea when I'll be able to leave!

A little explanation, Angie (who I'm going to serve with in Mozambique) is having to return home at the end of September for visa problems.  This is a blessing in disguise though because her ministry is in some desperate needs of support raising.  So as Angie comes home to support raise and visit friends and family, I must stay put waiting to depart for my adventure at a later date.  Some cool stuff though, I'm going to get to travel around and help Angie support raise for the ministry!  I think it will be super fun to travel with her as well as share our vision with people all over the U.S.  

It hasn't been the easiest to be cool with this latest change of plans.  I instantly began my earthly worrying about how I'm going to be able to afford monthly expenses, how I'm going to get my own support in when I'm helping Angie support raise, and how in the world I'll be able to pay for trips all over the U.S. on a very minimal income.  I feel like I'm stuck, almost standing still, waiting for the next phase of my life to begin.  Frustration, overwhelmingness (yep, that's a real word), and sadness have all plagued me for a couple of weeks now.  When I have to tell my friends/family/supporters the news, I feel like I'm letting them down, like I was deceiving them.  Obviously I had no idea this would happen, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, and everyone seems to understand that...except me. 

A couple weeks ago, I was hanging out with my middle school beauties at church, and my co-leader was teaching about transforming our minds to that of Christ's mind.  God rocked my world with this lesson reminding me that my mind should not be full of frustration, overwhelmingness, and sadness because of the recent events, but instead should be focused on all the awesome things that God is going to do through me and Angie during this time at home.

whatever is true,

whatever is honorable,

whatever is just,

whatever is pure,

whatever is lovely,

whatever is commendable,

if there is any excellence,

if there is anything worthy of praise,

think about these things.

Philippians 4:8

God's plan and will for this short span of time I have on earth is exactly what I should be thinking about.  It is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, and worthy of praise.  Why would I let the devil have the minor victory of declaring frustration and sadness over me when I have an awesome, sovereign God whose plan is way better than mine anyways?  I have the honor of being a part of making the name of Jesus Christ the most famous name of all.  I don't want to waste that, not a single minute.  So this time home will not be a time of sitting around and waiting but will be a time of meaningful, productive Kingdom work where the Lord of all creation will receive all the glory and honor and praise.  

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

and rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:19

Because your steadfast love

is better than life,

my lips will praise you.

Psalm 63:3